I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
