Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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