If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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