You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
