Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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