I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
