Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize