did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
