dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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