I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
