just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
