you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
