she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She bit a glass in half.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
