Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Say something about gay babies.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
