How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
