i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
