I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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