After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
