just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
she pinky promised me she was 18
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Randomize
