We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
