Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
