she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
