i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
