The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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