i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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