Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Let's get the cat blown out
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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