6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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