I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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