What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
well you can't waste a boner
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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