Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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