maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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