Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize