he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
