just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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