Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I will pee on everything he values.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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