Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
