I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
