she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
