Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
