i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
