You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
