he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
