i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
