also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
