Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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