What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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