It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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