But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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