i was rollin on her like bob the builder
found the other keg... it's in the tree
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
