on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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