he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
