I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
third nipple confirmed
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize