I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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