I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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