Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
