There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
