There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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