you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Can I color on your dick again?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
