Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
