I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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