My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
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