with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
