I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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