apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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